No longer a nonprofit. Smart Tools for Life is now working with others
News flash! We have decided to let go of our relationship with Growing Communities for Peace, the non-profit part of our organization. This doesn’t effectively change much except donations will no longer be tax-deductible. Donations are always ok, however, and much appreciated, especially as we begin our next chapter! Also, we are partnering with other nonprofits to do the very important work we continue with!
All kids need to know how to problem solve peacefully
As part of our ongoing commitment that little kids need to learn how to be peacemakers – do conflict resolution independently, learn basic meditation and self-soothing skills, express empathy and compassion readily — Rebecca Janke and I are going to rewrite and reprint “Peacemaker’s A,B,Cs for Young Children: A Guide for Teaching Conflict Resolution with a Peace Table”, which we wrote in 1995 and sold about 13,000 copies! We will be changing the book to fit the STOP process detailed for little kids in “The Barnyard Buddies STOP for Peace”. We will also be updating the references, suggested readings, and including more stories of how peace tables are being used in classrooms and preschools.
Peace literacy starts with young children and is built, like learning a language, at all grade levels.
I’m serving as a Team Leader in another nonprofit’s work.
PeaceMaker Minnesota has a campaign that will bring the STOP process to participating schools. My goal is to generate 10 contributions of $10 or more on or before Thursday, November 12.
Need your help!
Will you please join me in making a gift on November 12? Contributions can be made here or mailed to PeaceMaker Minnesota, 2131 Fairview Avenue North, Roseville, MN 55113. Please write Smart Tools for Life on the memo line.
Conflict resolution steps are so important for youth to learn. This cause is very important to me. Your support would be greatly appreciated!
Every gift of $10 or more helps PeaceMaker Minnesota to obtain a significant amount of challenge money. But the money must be received soon! By November 19. Your gift is important for it says that teaching kids conflict resolution skills is important to you. That statement is inspiring to me and it is others too. Thank you for doing what you can.
The donations support peace literacy.
All contributions will help elementary schools to use “The Barnyard Buddies Stop for Peace.” This book and mentoring program involves older students in teaching younger students the conflict resolution steps: Stop and breathe, Tell how you feel, Open your mind, and Plan a deal.
Why the STOP process is important for kids
The STOP process acknowledges the importance of all points-of-view. It values dialogue. It is an evolutionary change that moves beyond the belief that one side of any argument has value and the other does not or that “others” have no good reason to even exist. We don’t believe there is any benefit to that thinking.
Innoculate children to protect them from this divisive, anxiety-filled time
As our little kids learn how to become citizens during this time of deep division, they will need advanced skills if they are to move beyond anxiety and antagonism as they grow up. Many of our homes are hotbeds of stress right now. Anxiety is as contagious as the Corona virus. Anger and hatred is expressed by many against their very neighbors these days. To inoculate our kids against our stress and a hate filled outlook, we have to watch our language. We have to remember that they represent our future. What is it that you want them to learn about you, your adherence to the teachings of your faith, your ethics, your compassion? What do you want them to learn about working things out with others as is done in a democracy?
We help children learn to be effective, happy, and indeed peaceful as they grow up. This blog is a request for your participation in creating a positive future! Please help by donating using the link: Contributions can be made here.
Any amount will help! The suggested donation is only $10.00.
It’s likely you’ve been donating to political parties lately. I hope so! I know it’s hard to give today, but isn’t it worth $10 to educate kids? What if they knew how to solve problems with respectful language and attitudes toward their conflict partner? Please contribute now. Here is the link: https://www.givemn.org/story/Barnyardbuddies. Thanks!
Fighting in the streets of Minneapolis and St. Paul and around the world in the last week from a police killing of a black man, George Floyd indicates the extent of the alienation, anger, and outrage so many of us feel right now. People are exploding with pent up rage from systemic racism, classism, and a host of issues brought about by the pervasive top-down society of which we are a part.
Entrenched entitlement, coupled with habits of supremacy at-all-costs, is encountering the fruits of its oppression of black and brown people.
Can We Change?
Change is never easy. But we must change the habits that are so dangerous to ourselves and others and move on to a time of equality and justice. We can make cultural changes best through the education of children. They can make it a habit to wage peace. There are numerous helpful resources for educating anti-racist and peace-waging children in a recent Huffington Post article.
What does it mean to wage peace?
It’s what you do when you take a caring action, when you stand up — are an “upstander” instead of a bystander. Waging peace is what you do when you educate a kid in conflict transformation or how to find peace in the day. It is taking a tortured or abused animal to the shelter. Waging peace is marching with others to stand up for what is right, and maybe taking your kids along when you march.
Wage peace. That’s what this children’s musical play demonstrates.
It brings a compassionate perspective to the challenging topic of “the other”. If the newcomer is an immigrant or just a new kid in town, kids can choose to bully, or be courageous — and be a friend. Or perhaps the newcomer is a person of another skin color, a kid with a disability, a kid who is economically challenged and doesn’t have “things”. The specifics are important but most important is the habit of compassion and empathy that is developed when children are very young.
The book itself is on Amazon so get your copy today! if you sign up for our mailing list, we’ll give you a link to a discount product page. Be sure to purchase books in hard and softcover for a friend or for your child to look at while watching this free video.
We are very excited about the video which is our Covid-19 version of a book release party! Julia Amundson, Director, and a team of theater students (Alex Feia, Alli Christner, Bridget Foy, Guled Badri, Madeline Jacobs, Natalie Amundson, Tony Farrar, Vaerna Mayer) created this play using music written by Julie Penshorn. It was performed uniquely by each “animal” actor. Julia did a wonderful job of gathering free music to augment certain singers and the “Sleepy dog” poem. Thanks all for your hard and timely work, all while being Covid-19-safe!
“I swore never to be silent whenever and wherever human beings endure suffering and humiliation. We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.”
Seeing, being, and waging peace. Children’s mental health predicts the future of a society, of planetary conflict, and ultimately of life on the planet, so these are important!
The first ingredient for us all is seeing peace. We need to be able to imagine a better tomorrow and find peace in our daily lives through gratitude and a connection with nature and others.
Then, we need to demonstrate care for ourselves and others, and in so doing, we are being peace. Working out our problems peacefully and respectfully with each other demonstrates being peace and provides a lifelong tradition for our children who will ultimately be our world leaders.
Finally, waging peace helps us all to surmount difficult times, including those that tend to force us to focus inward, on our own misery. By finding something to be “FOR,” someone to help, some cause to support, something to create a better home, community, neighborhood, and/or world, we are waging peace.
Seeing Peace — Activities for Teaching the Concept
Seeing peace begins with simple observations of the world around us and enjoying time together creates a tradition of joy, respect for nature, and appreciation. For example, in one square foot of grass, a child can find at least ten magic, wonderful, creepy, crawling, manifestations of the earth’s remarkable creations!
Covid-19 isolation, a time to see peace in nature. This picture is from “I Can See Peace,” a children’s book guiding children in this skill and lifestyle. Find it here: http://bit.ly/smile4PEACE
Some simple ideas to get started.
Lie on the ground with your kids and study what’s in front of you! How many things can you find in one square foot?
Watch a sunset or sunrise together. Breathe deeply. See peace.
Check the new growth on the trees and bushes around your house or in the park. Watch the magic of spring birth and growth in the garden and on the trees. Marvel together. See peace.
Watch the raindrops on the window, or on a warm day with soft gentle rain, go out and feel it on your skin. Get drenched. See peace!
Sing together as you take a walk. How about, “You Are My Sunshine”? Music brings so much joy. It’s a wonderful way to see peace.
After Stopping to See Peace, and Breathing to Be Peace, It’s Time to Wage it!
Jack Doepke and Julie Penshorn sing “I Can See I Can Be I Can Wage Peace” by Julie Penshorn
Much of success in business depends on our ability to get along with others.
Social and emotional skills (SEL) are learned when kids do their own conflict resolution, perhaps better termed “conflict transformation”. Conflict transformation includes the reality that often conflict resolution is imposed from a more powerful country or individual (such as a teacher or parent) and in being top-down it misses something important and results in imperfect resolutions. Conflict transformation implies that people work to a solution that can actually help them move beyond the current anger and hostility to a much greater relationship as they have come to a deeper understanding and are ready and able to move beyond where they started.
Waging peace goes beyond typical mental health approaches for children.
It gives children something to be “for” rather than spending all their energies focusing on all the challenges they face. It fits under the umbrella of SEL (social and emotional learning) beautifully but goes beyond. Instead of just seeking skills for getting along, it positions kids to build a purposeful future, as they seek peace, through generosity, positive action, and mindfulness as a way of life.
This is a time to take stock of practices and policies, habits, and attitudes and really ask: who and what am I supporting by my actions? How can I be a role model for a child and wage peace today?
Track from “I STOP for Peace”. Music and short children’s dialogues make learning fun and easy.
Conflict transformation in our families can be life-changing.
What do you do when you have a problem with a spouse or child? Most of us can’t claim great skills for working it out. Most of us never learned how. Kids are learning, however. Often it’s not until fourth grade, but most children get some education in conflict resolution at school. In this article, I’ll catch you up to what they are learning and give you four simple steps to use that will transform the conflicts in your home. These steps are appropriate for you, and even for your three-year-old.
In this ever-more complicated world, inter-personal conflicts and inter-familial conflicts may be what causes us the most anguish. Transforming our conflicts is a key to our happiness and is critical for our children’s futures.
What’s the difference between conflict resolution and conflict transformation?
Conflict transformation benefits from sharing deeply. For partners, it is important to talk about the underlying feelings of fear, hurt, sadness, loneliness, worry, or frustration, rather than trying to be right. It’s far more beneficial to demonstrate to spouse and onlooking kids that you care about each other than it is to show them you can win an argument.
The transformation of children’s conflicts requires the same things, with one more important component. A valid solution is not a top-down solution. Often conflict resolution is. For example, a resolution imposed by a more powerful country or individual (such as a teacher or parent) is now “resolved” but it’s not “transformed”. That may be why it usually reappears! Top-down solutions lack buy-in and often result in imperfect resolutions. Conflict transformation implies that people work to a solution that can actually help them move beyond the current anger and hostility to a much greater relationship having come to a deeper understanding. They are ready and able to move beyond where they started.
Tough times can be opportunities to partner with family.
Using our tough times as opportunities, we can find partners in family members. Of course, you don’t want to share every problem with young children. It may cause anxiety. However, they appreciate knowing, as an example, that you are sad or angry because you can’t go to work, and you love your job. They like to understand that whatever you are bothered by is not their fault. That is reassuring. So, some sharing invites more collaboration from members of your family. Even three-year-olds often have wonderful help to offer! “Dad, don’t worry! I can keep you company if you’re lonesome for your work friends.” Or, “Mom, I want to be your work partner today. Let’s plant the garden.”
Missing interaction with peers can cause slower social skill development
Since kids who have missed interacting with their peers lately are missing valuable social and emotional learning, you get to home-school it. To build better relationships and skills for dealing with others in school, home, or the workplace, you can help them learn the valuable skills to transform conflicts from sentences of isolation to opportunities for connection. It takes practice. And, like baseball or tennis, the more kids practice, the better they will be as adults, and the more likely they will be to have work and social success. The skills they learn help prepare them for more happiness and deeper relationships.
As children are isolated from others, including their grandparents, social skills can suffer.
You can reduce the impact of Covid-19 isolation on your kids.
To ward off the impact of Covid-19 on our kids, we need to innoculate them against the PTSD and trauma experts expect them to suffer. (This article by Sonali Kohli offers a comprehensive look at the mental health consequences of Covid-19 for California’s children–a microcosm of those in the entire country.) You have the best medicine! Guide them with conflict transformation skills, skills for seeing peace, and help them find purpose in serving others. For this blog, the focus is on skills for conflict transformation. It is a key ingredient in social skill education. According to Nadine Burke Harris, who cites a longitudinal study in her TED talk, health, happiness, and even ability to earn a living are at stake.
Learning versus teaching. . .
Kids are not interested in being “taught”, but they are fully ready to “learn.” What hampers buy-in for kids is being told to do something. They want to discover it! They want to know, “What’s in it for me?” It’s definitely helpful if they see the benefit of learning to work out problems. Thus, experiencing you and your spouse or friend working out problems and celebrating your success is a great way for kids to learn. However, when they are working it out with someone, not you, and you interfere too much it will be YOUR solution and they won’t learn nearly as well.
The capable parent sometimes helps too much.
Well-meaning, capable parents (who remind me of me, so this hits me first-hand), sometimes don’t let kids do the struggling, the seeking, the challenging work of finding peace themselves. Instead, they are coaching and solving all the time. It’s hard! Try to see not helping as part of the educational journey for all. As your child develops independence with the skills, you will be impressed!
Use a story to do the teaching.
The Barnyard Buddies STOP for Peace children’s book illustrates and inspires conflict transformation as it teaches through story.
There is research about the benefits of storytelling as a tool for teaching. Do a Google search and you’ll see more than enough to convince you! Here is a lovely article on the topic. Using stories, parents don’t even have to “teach.” by taking yourself out of the equation, you reduce the likelihood of a power struggle preventing learning (“Mom wants me to do this, so I will say ‘No.'”).
Start with a good story about stopping!
Because I felt so strongly about the need for a story to empower young children to solve their problems, I wrote the children’s book, “The Barnyard Buddies STOP for Peace.”If you like, read the reviews to see how other parents and teachers have been using this book, and why. Since I am a singer and songwriter, I added a musical component. The “I STOP for Peace” CD or electronic music offers a real-life story with young kids singing and telling it.
The “STOP for Peace” process offers conflict transformation for all ages.
Conflicts over scarce resources can be transformed at the peace table.
Establish your own special place for working out problems–maybe a peace table!
“Since children are concrete learners, they appreciate having a specific place designated for problem-solving or conflict resolution. The peace table is in that space, which becomes a respected and appreciated area representing empowerment, not punishment.” (Janke, Penshorn, 1995, page 40. From our 1995 book, “Peacemaker’s A, B, Cs for Young Children: A Guide for Teaching Conflict Resolution With a Peace Table” by Rebecca Janke, M.Ed. and Julie Penshorn which is out-of-print, but a few copies are available by emailing julie@smarttoolsforlife.com.).
After we stop and breathe we can sit at a peace table and work it out.
Decorate your peace table
It’s helpful to place the peace table in a space where the steps for conflict resolution can also be posted. You can use the coloring page on the home page of this site or order a full-color version in our store. Children often enjoy decorating their peace table. There are more ideas on Pinterest. Of course, if you’re not at home you can just use whatever is handy (such as a rock, a talking piece, an upturned bucket) as a peace table. You are just looking for an energetic focal point.
A peace table in your home reduces whining, tattling, and bullying, and increases kids’ power to succeed in life. It gives them the confidence to try even more peacemaking, and wage peace in more ways.
Parents and teachers can dampen children’s enthusiasm.
Compare these requests: 1). “Sam, you and Jamal go to the peace table and work this out.” or 2). “Sam, you and Jamal will have time to go to the peace table after lunch. Do you think you will be cooled off by then?” The second feels quite different but uses almost the same words. Teaching is a bit like filling a helium balloon. You fill it with love, fill it with stories, fill it with role modeling, and then, ultimately, you can just let it go and it will fly!
Adults and children can both use the peace table but don’t interfere with the children unless the conflict involves you.
Steps for the STOP for Peace process
Step 1: Stop and breathe.
Start by stopping to breathe and calm down. Here’s a song to help guide young children. The CD or E-music is available here.
It may take some time to cool off. It’s going to take a least 20 minutes for the chemicals in the brain to settle down, so don’t rush the process. Tell your conflict partner you need time to cool off and then demonstrate deep breathing for him or her. Especially if it’s a child. Your demonstration does a great deal to aid the learning process.
Conflict transformation can begin by getting back to personal peace with breathing.
Step 2: Tell how you feel.
Use an I-message when you are ready to work it out. See this blog for an extensive look at this step and how it relates to developing empathy in kids. This step is the essence of the work. Once you care enough to learn how each other feels your compassion is inspired and you have done most of the hard work.
Guard against making the other person responsible for your feelings. You have your feelings. They are yours. no one “made” you have that feeling. That’s why the format of the I-message tries to avoid using the word “you”. It’s not, “You make me sad because you are ignoring me.” It works much better to use something like, “I feel sad when I am left alone to work on my schoolwork alone for too long.” Active listening includes repeating what your conflict partner has said, so you are sure you fully understand and they are honored by your deep listening and respect of their feelings.
Step 3: Open your mind.
This is the brainstorming phase. If your children don’t write yet, they can still be independent at the peace table process. They can draw a picture of their ideas or ask you for help writing down their ideas. When brainstorming, don’t evaluate. Don’t censor. Just write down every idea, even if it seems to be a crazy thing. Then, in the next step, you will edit, combine, or eliminate ideas that don’t fit the criteria.
Step 4: Plan a deal.
Any good solution has to be good for me, good for you, and good for the community (from “Peacemaker’s A, B, Cs for Young Children: A Guide for Teaching Conflict Resolution with a Peace Table”). Applying this standard helps make sure the solution is workable and sustainable. Be sure to celebrate your success in making a plan! After reaching a resolution, it’s great to celebrate overtly, like by having a “problem-solving-pizza-party,” or a “solution-special-snowshoe-trip,” or a “transformation-time-TV-show”. If your solution doesn’t work out, go back to step O, Open your mind. Brainstorm some more ideas, choose one, and try again!
Peace education is a comprehensive approach to children’s mental health.
It gives children something to be “for” rather than spending all their energies focusing on all the challenges they face. It fits under the umbrella of SEL (social and emotional learning) beautifully but goes beyond. Instead of just seeking skills for getting along, it positions kids to build a purposeful future. Seeking personal and interpersonal peace, doing kind and compassionate acts, being generous, and taking creative, positive actions all contribute to this way of life. Show your enthusiasm for children’s efforts to be peacemakers!
New kids are not new, but their numbers are much higher
Children of today face a very fluid classroom community. They don’t know if their best friend will be there tomorrow. I recently visited a rural 2nd grade classroom. It was amazing to hear that one child had attended five different schools, three children have family members in jail, while several suffer from continual stress over violence at home. It’s not only new kids, immigrants, and refugees that can feel left out and isolated. The lack of belonging in a classroom community is a persistent problem for many children.
Children who feel they belong can overcome more obstacles.
Developing classroom community
Teachers and caregivers are frequently called upon to provide the love and warmth missing at home. Often parents are struggling with issues around poverty, drug addiction, PTSD, and more. A sense of belonging to the classroom community can ameliorate some of the damage caused by a struggling family system and uprooting.
The Body Keeps the Score
A fascinating book providing perspective on the topic of belonging is “The Body Keeps the Score” by Bessel van der Kolk, M.D. This book details the impacts of trauma and PTSD on the brain. It’s readable and provides information about the underlying neuroscience. It shows how those with trauma and PTSD issues have different brain waves and different breath and heart syncing. It’s fascinating because he’s personally experienced in all the therapies and treatments he mentions. Thus, he has a deep understanding and a unique perspective.
Don’t give up on wounded children. Provide a safe environment!
Van der Kolk clearly says, “People can learn to control and change their behavior, but only if they feel safe enough to experiment with new solutions. . . Where traumatized children are concerned, the last things we should be cutting from the school schedule are. . . chorus, physical education, recess, and anything else that involves movement, play, and other forms of joyful engagement.” (page 351).
Patricia Jennings, author of “The Trauma-Sensitive Classroom,” says the zero-tolerance policies of the past two decades have not reduced school violence and misbehavior. They have aggravated student behavioral problems, especially those that are rooted in exposure to stress and trauma.” (page 1).
How do you create an environment where all children thrive?
At Growing Communities for Peace we rejected the zero-tolerance policies from the beginning. And, we have always believed that children have a huge capacity for solving their problems. Children show amazing kindness and thoughtfulness toward others when afforded the chance to puzzle through to solutions. They learn more from dialogue and guidance than from dictates.
Every child deserves a safe educational environment
Children that are well-behaved and easy to teach role model and teach children who are not yet peaceful. Teacher language always focuses on building behaviors of those who are still learning.
Here are excerpts from the Parent and Educator Guide of “The Barnyard Buddies Meet a Newcomer” along with ideas teachers shared with us for welcoming newcomers, creating a safe space, and enhancing belonging
Invite two or three children to do a short role-play to learn to be kind to others. Coach the children to act out a “new student” drama where one child is new and the two others are welcoming. What are the words the children say when they are welcoming? Make their thinking visible. Write what they say on chart paper and post, so when a new person arrives, they remember to use these kind phrases.
Ask children to draw a picture of a time they felt scared and what their fear or concern was about. When we know more about people’s fears or concerns, it is much easier to respect them.
Immigrants, refugees, and newcomers look for ways to become involved, bring more peace, or offer their skills and ideas to their new communities. There are all sorts of ways to do that. Think about your day and draw a picture of how you contributed in a caring way with your family, friends, or classroom. Those are some of your communities. Put these pictures in a Community Journal. Keep it in a special place where children can enter pictures of how they welcomed a newcomer, cleaned up, recycled, shared a toy with someone new, took care of their family animal, sang at the retirement home, and so on.
Invite children to share what they have seen another person do that supports and grows peace, fairness, kindness, or shows care of the earth. To make sure everyone is recognized, draw names or assign children a specific person to observe. Children can draw a picture of what they witnessed. Later that day or later in the week, have a sharing session. In it, you can appreciate each person. Then, add these drawings to the Community Journal. Make this journal visible in your home or classroom. If tattling, or reporting on negative actions is the norm, it may take time for children to learn to focus on the positive contributions of others. Remind them that is their assignment. Then, watch peace grow.
Sing a welcome song. Use the tune of Freire Jacque: Welcome (new student’s name) Mary, welcome Mary, to our class, to our class. So happy to have you! So happy to have you! Join our song. Join our song. Singing is a wonderful way to engage children with the community and inspires a sense of belonging.
We can’t force children to learn
Often we are trying to cram intellectual understanding into a resistant brain that can’t open to new information until it feels safe and welcome. That is to say when it “belongs” in the setting.
A story
A friend of mine suffered from ADHD, and in-class he was a failure. He was very capable at recess and the fastest runner. No one celebrated him where he was a success. Instead, they isolated and belittled him for his academics. With nothing else to offer, he felt he didn’t belong. His painful lack of belonging resulted in him dropping out of school in 8th grade. This man’s IQ is in the high 130s. What a waste. Looking at activity 3 above, I wonder how his athletic excellence might have become his contribution? Maybe he would be able to add more traditional contributions after being recognized for his current abilities?
You belong to our community of supporters! Let our work support you!
We wrote “The Barnyard Buddies Meet a Newcomer” and you can now get it directly from our website. We aren’t going to release it officially until May 1st. This is your chance to get a pre-release copy. Click the picture below. All books we ship have the author’s signature. Reviewers rave about this book, and you will too.
All children in grades preschool to three need opportunities to build their social and emotional skills. Belonging is a key to life success. This book inspires children and teachers to include and welcome others. The story tells of an abandoned, lonely, and a hungry dog who isn’t welcome in the barnyard community. Finally, he finds his way into the hearts of the other animals. And, in the end, a reluctant, Farmer Jim. Reading this book sets the stage for the compassionate treatment of all others. The Parent and Educator Guide can help you build a more inclusive setting and reduce “otherizing” and related bullying as well. We must never forget that most bullies have been bullied. 71% of school shootings were done by people who had been bullied.
You can be part of the solution! Share these children’s books!
Kate Towle shares this guest blog which appeared first in Community Voices commentary titled “All Americans need to listen and talk constructively — about race.” (For more information about Community Voices, email Susan Albright at salbright@minnpost.com.) Community Voices features opinion pieces from a wide variety of authors and perspectives. (Submission Guidelines)
Learning the truth about race
Learning the truth about race within the U.S. is like piecing together a quilt as a collective narrative. Each of us holds a square as part of the full design, or truth.
Kate Towle offers this blog, talking about race
Kate Towle
Kate Towle is a community educator whose model for students to develop themselves as civic and intercultural leaders won the 2011 Facing Race Idea Challenge and a 2014 PeaceMaker Award.
Background on Kate Towle and Her Thoughts About Race
Though my white father died when I was 10, I imprinted his passion for civil rights as he worked alongside an African-American friend to sustain a community center. He also had Social Security documents translated into Spanish and visited young men in prison. When I had children of my own, I learned how intricately their educational experience was tied to that of their peers of color. We became the rare white family that talks about race. We’re long overdue for the conversation; only then will we understand events like #Ferguson and #Charleston.
We Are Creatures of Patterns
As humans, we are creatures of patterns. Views or situations to which we are exposed cause neurons in our brains to “ping” the call centers of our brain cells and forge connections to a targeted network of neuronal “neighbors.” The connections create neural pathways, or ways of thinking and acting that become stronger the more they are reinforced. So, depending on the social ideas, patterns and stories to which you are exposed, you may have a very different view of the United States.
If, for instance, you are a descendant of slaves, the stories that passed on to you are less likely to be about the independence gained through the Revolutionary War and more about the dignities stripped from you and your children, or your ancestors’ lives in slavery. Not only would your family be denied opportunities to reach prosperity, your cultural legacy would boast less to pass on, including books and photographs. Though now granted civil rights in 1964 (only 51 years ago) you are expected to make do with inferior housing, schools, and even health care.
The Counter-narrative to ‘Shining city …’
I have learned a counter-narrative to that of the U.S. as a “shining city on the hill” by staying present to the pain of my friends of color. In fact, our country was founded by white colonists who funded the war for independence with wealth created by slave labor. The surplus wealth of our country for half of its lifetime (from the first Jamestown settlement) was generated by a massive slave trade that sanctioned violently seizing land and people. Our society has had legalized slavery far longer than it has been free. A worldview of white dominance taints everything from our cultural reaction to drugs (crack vs. anti-depressants) to the correlation of education and your ZIP code. Our societal practices still bow to the wealth that white people have been able to invest, save and generate over time.
Holding the perspective of our friends of color requires that we intentionally increase our exposure to the reality and obstacles they experience. Learning the truth about race within the U.S. is a process of learning and exposure, akin to learning about another country. Each of us brings our square of exposure to the quilt.
Embrace one key practice
If we hope to increase prosperity and maximize the quality of life for all, we must encourage each U.S. citizen to embrace one key practice: talking constructively — and with an open mind — about race.
The stakes have never been higher. Our divisions as a nation are making us increasingly vulnerable to terrorism and the demands of regimes that oppose our best interests. The world itself is experiencing the strain of overpopulation and climate change, and will require the intelligence of every young mind.
Laying the groundwork in early childhood
The following thoughts were added to Kate’s blog by Julie Penshorn
I wanted to make sure all were aware that Teaching Tolerance has many valuable tools for your classroom community as well as your faculty.
Here is a suggestions from a recent article from The Greater Good Magazine. Discuss with staff at a staff meeting, “The hard part of talking a bout race/racism is …” and “The beneficial part of talking about race/racism is…”
A valuable resource geared for slightly older children than our target group at Smart Tools for Life is available here: “Teaching Tolerance Guide: Let’s Talk.” However, many of these ideas can be adapted. You’ll also see how valuable our children’s book The Barnyard Buddies STOP for Peace is when you look at the Teaching Tolerance group activities. Young children learn the basic tools in our work. Then, those skills can be expanded upon in older classrooms and children will have the preparedness to move forward easily. We will follow up with more ideas for young children.
Please Add Your Voice! Share Your Ideas!
If you’re interested in joining the discussion, add your voice to the Comment section below. Have you instituted a practice in your classroom that would be of benefit to others? Do you have a favorite book you’d like to tell us about? How about a teacher training circle exercise you use in your setting? We welcome your insights and encourage a dialogue.
“He will take something from me that I want/need.”
“There’s already not enough.”
“I don’t trust her…” and so on. The readers of this new children’s book get to grapple with this type of issues. When fear-mongering is rampant, and hatred of “the other” is being modeled from the highest levels of government, what are we teaching our kids?
“This new children’s book addresses the challenges that newcomers have when entering communities and classrooms. Readers are moved toward thoughtful and compassionate action,” said Penshorn. “We realize embracing and accepting new people has complications. This story guides children to explore the questions around this topic. There are many opportunities for deep thinking and finding ‘compassion-smart’ solutions. We invite your participation! Our GoFund Me page will tell you all about the campaign.
What else could they do?
This, along with other thought-provoking questions is asked in the Parent and Educator Guide at the end of the book. The “Conversation Starters” and “Activities” provide several lesson-plans based on the conundrums provided by the story.
The Story
The lonely and cold dog finds himself abandoned by a family that could no longer afford to keep him. They live in a town that’s one of the recent ones suffering with the lead-in-our-pipes problem. Bottled water (that comes with its own, less immediate health risks) puts this poor old dog’s family in a financial crisis. They turn to the animal shelter for help, but the shelter is full. Many people looked for the same solution. Unable to think of a better solution, they decide to drive the dog out of town and drop him off. A heartbreaking first page, mostly told in the art.
The dog wanders into the Barnyard Buddies’ farm, and is immediately informed he has to leave because Farmer Jim doesn’t like strangers. However, the poor old guy is too tired and hungry to continue walking. He is ready to give up.
A Happy Ending?
The story evolves…While it does have a happy ending, many of the children coming to our country or our communities as immigrants, refugees, and newcomers, don’t have that experience.
Children in every school, home, day care, church, synagogue, or mosque need opportunities to think about these difficult conundrums. They need time to think and to practice their decision-making skills before they become adults. It’s very valuable if they can learn to hold compassion in their hearts while they consider practical implications. This skill comes quite naturally to most children, but reinforcing it and putting it in a memorable story helps them recognize the value of that way of thinking. Further, it helps them believe in themselves, even if adults around them are not always good role models.
Well-developed characters, expressively drawn by Jeanine-Jonee Keith, reveal the complexity of the animals’ emotions. The owl, who steadfastly welcomes the lonely dog, points out, “Often kindness brings more kindness.” The need for children to be included and feel a sense of belonging for maximum mental and physical wellness, is demonstrated by the dog, who recovers quickly when he receives care.
Parent and Educator Guide
Following the touching story, a Parent and Educator Guide provides questions that encourage children to think deeply, creatively, and critically, as they consider ways they might respond to similar situation.
“This book is a great resource for families and teachers looking for materials that enhance decision-making. It supports teachers dealing with a new child in class, or perhaps immigrants, or refugees. We think these are critical discussions to have in today’s world,” said Rebecca Janke, M.Ed., the book’s content editor.
Whether it’s at the border or in our classrooms, “What are we teaching our children?”
This children’s book has multiple benefits for the teacher and parent reading to children ranging from simple counting opportunities to the introduction of civic language. The Barnyard Buddies illustrate and talk about both majority rule and consensus-building. The book fills a current, intense need for children to delve more deeply as they begin to grapple with complex problems. Today’s kids will need to solve many issues around increased displacement as we face disruptions due to climate change, war, famine, political unrest, and so on.
The Book Needs You!
Please participate with the production and marketing of this book. Visit our GoFundMe page.Your share is critical! We also invite you to become a fundraising team member and help raise money to promote this book. Please email julie@smarttoolsforlife.com for a team invitation.
Wouldn’t it be sad if parents, librarians, and educators didn’t know about this book? Follow us on Twitter and Facebook so you’ll know when this lovely book is available for you to cry over and talk over with the kids in your life. Because, at the end of the day, “What are we teaching our children?”
Effective negotiating often isn’t modeled by government
Effective negotiating. I remember my teachers using our U.S. Congress to show me how it was done. However, right now effective negotiating and dialogue seem to be a thing of the past, and many wonder, “What happened to civility? What happened to basic decency and social skills? How we are ever going to get back to bipartisan debate? Or intelligent and truthful conversations in our lawmaking bodies?”
Teens model effective negotiating and learning to be civil
While we are hoping that our “leaders” can take steps toward higher ground, we can be hopeful. People like Brooke Deterline—a cofounder of the Courageous Leadership consulting firm, are working to guide kids to find the skills for civility in conversations, particularly with those who don’t share their point-of-view. These kids are likely to grow up having the skills to move beyond partisan bickering and toward problem-solving.
An inspirational article about work with kids
You’ll find an inspirational article from The Greater Good Magazine: Here’s the link directly to the article: https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/these_kids_are_learning_how_to_have_bipartisan_conversations. To summarize: Deterline gets a group of teenagers together and educates them in courageous leadership! She says, “What often shuts down conversations across the political aisle, . . . is when our brains go into what she calls ‘the red zone.’ . . .When we’re stressed, our natural compassion is cut off. . . .We don’t want to have compassion for the lion if we’re actually in a life-or-death situation. Our bodies are getting ready to fight or flee, sometimes freeze. It happens in less than a second.”
Working with Teens is Great
I have often marvelled at the wonderful work being done by people working with teens. And, yet, even with teens, we are doing remediation. We are fixing an already existing challenge. We need to start in the womb and continue with every day of a child’s life to provide a safe and welcoming environment for kids that allows them to think clearly and without fear clouding their responses.
Every day of a child’s life has a lasting impact
The incredible impact of early experiences on young children is why we are so concerned about US policies on the US/Mexico border. Whether it’s separation of families or just extensive stays for youngsters, none of it is okay for their development!
Children from birth to age 9 are sponges. When we provide a fear-filled environment, we create trauma that often causes lifelong consequences. When we provide safety, security, love, and decency, we provide tools for them to learn the very skills that these teens are learning — at an early enough age that these skills become their new normal. If we can also offer cultural tools like books and music to support their negotiating skills we are smart! Then we are enhancing their Smart Tools for Life.
The Barnyard Buddies STOP for Peace has a teen mentor component to it, so teens can bring the younger kid these skills.
Our Payhip store can be posted on your website. Your friends, co-workers, business associates, and family can find these materials and you can even make 40% of their purchase price. Do good while making money. Gotta like that!
Your story helps children in their youngest years,
To have less fights and lots less tears.
I wish everyone just took the time,
To read all children your wonderful rhyme!
“The Barnyard Buddies STOP for Peace” conflict resolution tips for kids, and the music for peace are available on Amazon or in ebook form only on Payhip.
How about saving money while doing the right thing?
Are you ready to share what you know are valuable conflict resolution tips for kids? I’m glad you said yes! Share your Payhip purchase with social media contacts and save 25%.
Kids learn conflict resolution get great materials really cheaply!
It’s time more people got these materials in their hands. We have made them really cheap right now — even before Christmas and other Holidays.
So get hard or soft cover books and CDs on Amazon, or go to Payhip, purchase any already low-priced item, and then click “Share on social media” and you’ll get an additional 25% off! So, it will cost less than $4.00 for the book, and the music even less. How simple is that? What are you waiting for!
“I Can See Peace” will be on Payhip soon.
Please promote this work! Save 25% by sharing on facebook when YOU buy on Payhip
About how to solve problems, be kind, and be fair,
About how to take turns, compromise, and share.
If you ask Santa, he’ll drop off at your door
All these smart tools. That’s what they’re for!
This poem is a story about how “The Barnyard Buddies STOP for Peace” book may have come to be! I hope you enjoy and share.
Two children who love The Barnyard Buddies STOP for Peace
This blog is definitely a bit big on the marketing and promoting (at the end). If you read the reviews that are on Amazon associated with any of the materials, but particularly the music, I think you will see why I feel the need to share and promote. These materials are really important and valuable to kids — according to others. I think as the writer, it’s my responsibility to do my share to let others know about them. Please share in any way you can. Twitter, Facebook, and so on.
As you see, The Barnyard Buddies also mentioned the other award-winning book, “I Can See Peace.” The two books and two cds of music provide a lovely, simple way to bring a comprehensive peacemaking education to very young children. All the materials are targeted for ages 3 to 8 or 9.
The young ages are when we cement our conflict resolution styles. We also learn that our families value our caring and sharing behaviors. We learn about focusing on kindness and compassion, recycling, and caring for the earth, what it means to be a peacemaker and so much more. All these are addressed in the music that goes with these books.
As a person living on this heating planet, I can only hope our children grow up thoughtful, compassionate, and smart about caring for others and issues of climate change, and are willing to get to the deeper issues around population, scarcity of resources, and more that prevent our success on these issues.
Apologies for lack of diversity! This poem is not meant to leave out others, but I have only come up with this Santa story to tell the tale of how The Barnyard Buddies (with a little help from me) created “The Barnyard Buddies STOP for Peace” children’s book. Maybe next year I’ll figure out a story that works better for children with a background in other traditions!
The story of Santa doesn’t indicate any religious preference or bias by me, the staff or the organization.
“The Barnyard Buddies STOP for Peace” has music that partners with it!
children’s book award winner has companion music: I STOP for Peace
Peaceful conflict resolution is a critical skill in this world. This particular book is well loved by the children who have it and has excellent Amazon reviews. The music helps children internalize the skills and they get to hear other children doing the steps for conflict resolution so their own work becomes more important. Check it out here. (The music is below the books on that Amazon link.)
Children’s book awards for “I Can See Peace” include Peace Book of the Year.
The Big Award was for the Peace Book of the Year!
“I Can See Peace” released on September 21, International Day of Peace, in St. Paul, MN (video shows excerpts from that event), was awarded the Indie Human Relations Peace Book of the Year Director’s Choice Award. This award was not just a children’s book award. It was awarded over all submitted books!
“The outstanding children’s book, ‘I Can See Peace’, published by Growing Communities for Peace: Smart Tools for Life was recently selected as the 2018 Human Relations Peace Book of the Year by the Human Relations Indie Book Awards. It was judged against the entries in all categories, not just children’s books. The focus of the Human Relations Indie Book Awards is to recognize outstanding indie authors who write on human relations topics,” stated Susan Peterson, the organization’s representative.
The illustrations, by California illustrator, Jeanine-Jonee Keith, depict multicultural children seeking peace, even when they are struggling with conflict, illness, family arguments, and disability.
Why these books matter
“Peace is always around us,” said Penshorn. “The challenge is that peace is not the only thing that’s around us. In this book, children and families discover that by focusing attention on nature, and the wonderful and peaceful things in their lives, they are building the muscles to see and experience more peace. This is helpful for the mental health of anyone. By starting with young children this approach to life becomes a habit. Today our world provides substantial stress for children and families. These books give families the tools to communicate about important topics supporting mental health and conflict resolution so the entire family can improve its skills.
Childhood trauma affects all children
“Childhood trauma can have lifelong negative impacts, and all children suffer at some point in their lives from a trauma, no matter how much we try to protect them. Some suffer greatly. Our nonprofit, Growing Communities for Peace, created the Smart Tools for Life project to provide memorable and engaging children’s stories. Learning about peace and nonviolence can be a normal activity for families and schools and can be fun and impactful. Since whoever tells the stories creates the culture, our organization seeks to build a culture of peace beginning with children’s stories. We include music because it helps the skills sink into the hearts and minds of children for life,” commented Rebecca Janke, M.Ed., Montessori teacher trainer, and GCFP board member.
Penshorn added, “We spend a lot of time discussing the best ways to protect our children from gun violence in their schools, or strangers on our streets. As important as these discussions are, raising peaceful, compassionate kids is the best way to protect future generations!”
Share information with your friends about these children’s book awards
You can bring these books to more people! Write a review, tell us how your kids, grandkids and students like these books, and share links to this blog and our facebook page. Be sure to “like”the Facebook page.
The book release event was in conjunction with Twin Cities Nonviolent and its Ten Days Free From Violence Campaign. Find out more at www.twincitiesnonviolent.org. #ICanWagePeace.
For information about these events, author visits to your classroom, or accessing these books for your classroom or home contact Julie@smarttoolsforlife.com. The books and music are available on Amazon.
Some New Reviews from Online Book Club for “I Can See Peace”
“What an amazing book geared for children to learn how to calm situations and tells them they have the power to create peace. I liked the drawings and the multicultural aspect of this book.” Online Book reviewer
“Children are the future, and the only way to insure lasting peace is for the children to see it as the only option that makes sense. The cover and title are bright and would appeal to children of all ages. I liked that the synopsis showed that the readers are taught ‘mindful breathing and intentional seeking to learn to deal with their strong emotions and find their way back to peace.’ Peace in the world begins with peace within.” Tiny Turtle
“The pictures are calming e.g. the horses at rest. I like that the pictures show diversity of race. The questions at the end are useful for teachers or parents. I like, in particular, how the book covers peace in all its forms e.g. being sick in hospital. I also like the inclusion of a song at the end.” Laura Bach
Reviews for The Barnyard Buddies STOP for Peace from Online Book Club
