Effective negotiating often isn’t modeled by government
Effective negotiating. I remember my teachers using our U.S. Congress to show me how it was done. However, right now effective negotiating and dialogue seem to be a thing of the past, and many wonder, “What happened to civility? What happened to basic decency and social skills? How we are ever going to get back to bipartisan debate? Or intelligent and truthful conversations in our lawmaking bodies?”
Teens model effective negotiating and learning to be civil
While we are hoping that our “leaders” can take steps toward higher ground, we can be hopeful. People like Brooke Deterline—a cofounder of the Courageous Leadership consulting firm, are working to guide kids to find the skills for civility in conversations, particularly with those who don’t share their point-of-view. These kids are likely to grow up having the skills to move beyond partisan bickering and toward problem-solving.
An inspirational article about work with kids
You’ll find an inspirational article from The Greater Good Magazine: Here’s the link directly to the article: https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/these_kids_are_learning_how_to_have_bipartisan_conversations. To summarize: Deterline gets a group of teenagers together and educates them in courageous leadership! She says, “What often shuts down conversations across the political aisle, . . . is when our brains go into what she calls ‘the red zone.’ . . .When we’re stressed, our natural compassion is cut off. . . .We don’t want to have compassion for the lion if we’re actually in a life-or-death situation. Our bodies are getting ready to fight or flee, sometimes freeze. It happens in less than a second.”
Working with Teens is Great
I have often marvelled at the wonderful work being done by people working with teens. And, yet, even with teens, we are doing remediation. We are fixing an already existing challenge. We need to start in the womb and continue with every day of a child’s life to provide a safe and welcoming environment for kids that allows them to think clearly and without fear clouding their responses.
Every day of a child’s life has a lasting impact
The incredible impact of early experiences on young children is why we are so concerned about US policies on the US/Mexico border. Whether it’s separation of families or just extensive stays for youngsters, none of it is okay for their development!
Children from birth to age 9 are sponges. When we provide a fear-filled environment, we create trauma that often causes lifelong consequences. When we provide safety, security, love, and decency, we provide tools for them to learn the very skills that these teens are learning — at an early enough age that these skills become their new normal. If we can also offer cultural tools like books and music to support their negotiating skills we are smart! Then we are enhancing their Smart Tools for Life.
Reducing School Violence and Increasing Social Skills for Young Kids
A brief overview of why Smart Tools for Life are so important!
Posted by Smart Tools for Life on Tuesday, December 18, 2018
The Barnyard Buddies STOP for Peace has a teen mentor component to it, so teens can bring the younger kid these skills.
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