Refugee children are not new.
Refugee children are now at the forefront of our reality. Every country struggles with what to do with the burgeoning numbers of people crossing borders to flee some sort of misery. Fundamental problems of governance and resource distribution create challenges far beyond the attention spans of most of us, as we navigate our busy lives.
So why should you care about these immigrants and/or refugee children? Even if a moral argument doesn’t sway you, it’s in your own self-interest to care. Just pure logic leads to the simple conclusion that it’s much more expensive to treat illnesses than to prevent them.
Beyond the expenses of health care, today’s children are tomorrow’s teens and adults
Who will our children become? Even with a caring, loving family and few traumatic incidents, children can grow up with emotional issues that make them dangerous to themselves and others. But the outcomes in terms of their health, happiness, and even their ability to earn a living, says Nadine Burke Harris, are clearly impacted by their early life experiences. We are only recently beginning to recognize the full impact of trauma on children’s developing lives.
While acknowledging that we have only a small perspective, Growing Communities for Peace, through its project Smart Tools for Life, seeks to create a more peaceful world for all children with our books and music. Some of us, like Director, Julie Penshorn (right in the video above) even make impromptu videos such as this, because we do feel morally compelled to speak out about the refugee children and their situation right now!
The best defense against violence starts with young children
Whether you are talking about preventing destructive gangs, drug addiction, or school shootings, raising healthy babies, toddlers, and elementary-age children is a crucial beginning. Developing literacy, including peace literacy*, is also empowering. Our new book, I Can See Peace is a vehicle for young children to begin developing their emotional “smarts,” and gain some of the tools they need for their entire lives.
We recognize that creating a more peaceful world is a long process
Many of us feel overwhelmed since keeping up with the complicated miseries all over the world is daunting. Some are exhausted already and say, “It’s too much, we are too late. What can one person do?” One person can do a lot.
Six simple suggestions for growing healthy communities
- Hold your child or grandchild in your lap and read a bedtime or daytime story. Pick an educational book like The Barnyard Buddies STOP for Peace or our new book I Can See Peace.
- Demonstrate compassion as your child learns. Listen to them! Create realistic boundaries for behavior, and correct children in respectful ways when they make mistakes.
- Listen when people that have different points-of-view try to convince you they are right and you are wrong. Don’t automatically shut them down. Listen with real open ears. Say, “I’ll have to think about that.” It’s very honoring to the other person to know they encouraged you to think. Don’t dismiss people out-of-hand because their opinions are different. Try to avoid unfriending them!
- Watch and read diverse media. A singular media diet can become addictive and unhealthy, just like only eating one food!
- Read to yourself and with your children. Choose books that include multicultural and diverse individuals. That way the foreign becomes the familiar.
- Learn about Adverse Childhood Experiences and their comprehensive consequences. Recent research shows how critically children are suffering in this country from the consequences of Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs). ACEs contribute to tremendous long-term suffering and health issues for both immigrants and our own population. Click this link to an excellent TED talk that goes into some detail without being overly complex.
The Compassionate Rebel is a formula for transformation
When we compiled and wrote “The Compassionate Rebel: Energized by Anger, Motivated by Love“
in 2002, and wrote the words of Tom La Blanc (who is pictured here on the cover with his granddaughter), little did we know we could see such suffering and trauma inflicted on young refugee children on our southern border.
“Oh, Grandfather God! Pity us, for we are a weak and a lost people! We ask only that our little ones and unborn be allowed to grow strong within the winds of their own directions. For we look about us in these times and see children of all colors being abused, neglected, exploited, and denied. This we do not want amongst our circle, so this is our prayer, this is our mind, this is our law.” Tom La Blanc from The Compassionate Rebel: Energized by Anger, Motivated by Love, 2002, stories collected and written by Burt Berlowe, Rebecca Janke, and Julie Penshorn.
The compassionate person may have great anger right now, but self-interest says “cool it”
We have seen tremendous divisiveness in our country over the past couple of years. It has prompted some to bash the other political side when their anger swells up. Instead, the Compassionate Rebel says, “I am angry and I have compassion for all sides. I will find a peaceful way. Perhaps I will find a wonderfully creative or unusual way.”
With win-lose thinking, everyone loses
Perpetuating the politics of win-lose, good-bad, right-wrong is a dead end. It can only lead to more division. That’s why the video above starts with, “Nobody listened when I told my deep thoughts. They shut their ears up like they were robots.” Because in my own self-interest, I want dialogues with people of diverse opinions and backgrounds, where each listens to the other’s points-of-view. I want to be challenged to assess my “facts” and the other person can be challenged on theirs as well. Together, often we can seek a peaceful way forward.
What if we talked?
Often our politicians hope we are divisive. Polarization builds motivation to vote. If our politicians could work across the aisle, they probably wouldn’t get reelected since their base would turn against them. What if we elected Compassionate Rebels who could think long-term about the health of the relationship, the planet, and the country when they voted? What if they talked, collaborated, and worked on problems like functioning businesses, boardrooms, and neighborhoods? How do we build a culture where people can talk to each other with respect? We have to start young.
Our new children’s book is just out in Kindle
I Can See Peace is a profound, inspirational journey told with multicultural art and simple rhyming phrases that can help children in many different types of situations imagine beauty and peace back into their lives.
It depicts children with challenges around family conflict, bullying, and health issues seeking something more, and finding it! If you get it on Kindle (Free right now or $1.99) and review it kindly, then, when it is released on International Day of Peace, September 21, 2018, it will have much more success getting to the hands of other Amazon shoppers. So, a purchase and a review are votes for peace! They are votes in your own self-interest, for your future conversations, your future health care costs, and your future politicians.
Who cares about making a statement or a “vote” for peace?
Every person who has someone they care about and love has an obligation to think. To think long-term, deeply, and carefully, about who our children will grow up to be, with whom they will interact, and where the dangers for them will originate. Without critical thinking, we become easily manipulated by ruthless and unethical people.
Let’s find a Compassionate Rebel solution for another really polarizing issue
When we consider the issue of gun control, we frequently polarize ourselves into immobility. We take no action because we are confused about the best one. Or, we are so stubborn in our views we don’t even want to hear another point-of-view. But we don’t need to be in that situation! Most people on the right or the left agree that young children need to be raised in a healthy, safe environment for positive mental health. So we can quite easily focus on something we agree on and move forward on that! How can we support children’s healthy development?
Who are we as Americans? Is this how America should be?
Eudaimonia has a scathing and frightening assessment of our current actions on the southern border. They say what we are doing to these young refugees and other immigrant children is genocide. If you want to read more, check out their rationale for that opinion here. I don’t disagree, but I am concerned that such labels are going to make solving things harder since no one likes to view themselves in that light.
We are a country founded with the idea that “Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness,” are “inalienable rights.” When those words were written, the world was much more fragmented, since it took many days to travel to other countries. Now, we are less than a days plane ride from anywhere. Can we afford to believe that these are only rights for those in the United States?
My selfish hope is that other countries thrive
Selfishly, I hope others have similar rights since we live in a global community. That said, current situations in El Salvador, Guatemala, Honduras and other countries around the world are daunting. To avoid having their children sold as sex slaves, conscripted into a gang, or disappeared, people make the arduous journey to the land of the free and home of the brave. Some just send their refugee children. They dream. That’s how they survive the journey. “It will be better in the United States.” They expect to have basic human rights when they arrive at the border of a great democracy. And, they are entitled to due process and to have their case heard.
All children benefit from our love and care
All of our children benefit from our guidance to stimulate their good memories, focus on the positive things in their lives, and help them find light in the darkness. It is ultimately both smart and selfish to care for our children and those all over the world. They are easier and more pleasant to be around. They will determine our shared future. We can’t count on barriers such as oceans or languages to keep us separate. We all share a common humanity — like it or not.
Our Constitution is an inspiring document
It gives us a framework to be as great as we can be. It’s quite a credit to its writers that it is still relevant. In the spirit of those immigrants who shaped our founding documents, I hope we can continue to be inspired to care for new immigrants, and especially to care for all the children within our shared circle — namely, our planet Earth!
Further information:
A June 20th NPR program goes into some specifics about long-term health consequences of our actions on our border. And, here is the point-of-view of the president of the American College of Pediatrics, Dr. Colleen Kraft, from a June 18 NPR interview.
For more reading, here is a link to numerous TED talks on refugees.
Here is a link to some information on different approaches to racial integration.
In St. Paul and Minneapolis, Minnesota peace and nonviolence enthusiasts are working on event planning on and for 9 days after International Day of Peace on September 21. Ten Days Free from Violence is coordinated by this group: Twin Cities Nonviolent.
The Corrections Accountability Project is a great resource for information about who benefits financially from the incarceration of immigrants and refugee children on the border and elsewhere.
*For more about “peace literacy” see the works of Paul K. Chappell.