No longer a nonprofit. Smart Tools for Life is now working with others
News flash! We have decided to let go of our relationship with Growing Communities for Peace, the non-profit part of our organization. This doesn’t effectively change much except donations will no longer be tax-deductible. Donations are always ok, however, and much appreciated, especially as we begin our next chapter! Also, we are partnering with other nonprofits to do the very important work we continue with!
All kids need to know how to problem solve peacefully
As part of our ongoing commitment that little kids need to learn how to be peacemakers – do conflict resolution independently, learn basic meditation and self-soothing skills, express empathy and compassion readily — Rebecca Janke and I are going to rewrite and reprint “Peacemaker’s A,B,Cs for Young Children: A Guide for Teaching Conflict Resolution with a Peace Table”, which we wrote in 1995 and sold about 13,000 copies! We will be changing the book to fit the STOP process detailed for little kids in “The Barnyard Buddies STOP for Peace”. We will also be updating the references, suggested readings, and including more stories of how peace tables are being used in classrooms and preschools.
Peace literacy starts with young children and is built, like learning a language, at all grade levels.
I’m serving as a Team Leader in another nonprofit’s work.
PeaceMaker Minnesota has a campaign that will bring the STOP process to participating schools. My goal is to generate 10 contributions of $10 or more on or before Thursday, November 12.
Need your help!
Will you please join me in making a gift on November 12? Contributions can be made here or mailed to PeaceMaker Minnesota, 2131 Fairview Avenue North, Roseville, MN 55113. Please write Smart Tools for Life on the memo line.
Conflict resolution steps are so important for youth to learn. This cause is very important to me. Your support would be greatly appreciated!
Every gift of $10 or more helps PeaceMaker Minnesota to obtain a significant amount of challenge money. But the money must be received soon! By November 19. Your gift is important for it says that teaching kids conflict resolution skills is important to you. That statement is inspiring to me and it is others too. Thank you for doing what you can.
The donations support peace literacy.
All contributions will help elementary schools to use “The Barnyard Buddies Stop for Peace.” This book and mentoring program involves older students in teaching younger students the conflict resolution steps: Stop and breathe, Tell how you feel, Open your mind, and Plan a deal.
Why the STOP process is important for kids
The STOP process acknowledges the importance of all points-of-view. It values dialogue. It is an evolutionary change that moves beyond the belief that one side of any argument has value and the other does not or that “others” have no good reason to even exist. We don’t believe there is any benefit to that thinking.
Innoculate children to protect them from this divisive, anxiety-filled time
As our little kids learn how to become citizens during this time of deep division, they will need advanced skills if they are to move beyond anxiety and antagonism as they grow up. Many of our homes are hotbeds of stress right now. Anxiety is as contagious as the Corona virus. Anger and hatred is expressed by many against their very neighbors these days. To inoculate our kids against our stress and a hate filled outlook, we have to watch our language. We have to remember that they represent our future. What is it that you want them to learn about you, your adherence to the teachings of your faith, your ethics, your compassion? What do you want them to learn about working things out with others as is done in a democracy?
We help children learn to be effective, happy, and indeed peaceful as they grow up. This blog is a request for your participation in creating a positive future! Please help by donating using the link: Contributions can be made here.
Any amount will help! The suggested donation is only $10.00.
It’s likely you’ve been donating to political parties lately. I hope so! I know it’s hard to give today, but isn’t it worth $10 to educate kids? What if they knew how to solve problems with respectful language and attitudes toward their conflict partner? Please contribute now. Here is the link: https://www.givemn.org/story/Barnyardbuddies. Thanks!
Fighting in the streets of Minneapolis and St. Paul and around the world in the last week from a police killing of a black man, George Floyd indicates the extent of the alienation, anger, and outrage so many of us feel right now. People are exploding with pent up rage from systemic racism, classism, and a host of issues brought about by the pervasive top-down society of which we are a part.
Entrenched entitlement, coupled with habits of supremacy at-all-costs, is encountering the fruits of its oppression of black and brown people.
Can We Change?
Change is never easy. But we must change the habits that are so dangerous to ourselves and others and move on to a time of equality and justice. We can make cultural changes best through the education of children. They can make it a habit to wage peace. There are numerous helpful resources for educating anti-racist and peace-waging children in a recent Huffington Post article.
What does it mean to wage peace?
It’s what you do when you take a caring action, when you stand up — are an “upstander” instead of a bystander. Waging peace is what you do when you educate a kid in conflict transformation or how to find peace in the day. It is taking a tortured or abused animal to the shelter. Waging peace is marching with others to stand up for what is right, and maybe taking your kids along when you march.
Wage peace. That’s what this children’s musical play demonstrates.
It brings a compassionate perspective to the challenging topic of “the other”. If the newcomer is an immigrant or just a new kid in town, kids can choose to bully, or be courageous — and be a friend. Or perhaps the newcomer is a person of another skin color, a kid with a disability, a kid who is economically challenged and doesn’t have “things”. The specifics are important but most important is the habit of compassion and empathy that is developed when children are very young.
The book itself is on Amazon so get your copy today! if you sign up for our mailing list, we’ll give you a link to a discount product page. Be sure to purchase books in hard and softcover for a friend or for your child to look at while watching this free video.
We are very excited about the video which is our Covid-19 version of a book release party! Julia Amundson, Director, and a team of theater students (Alex Feia, Alli Christner, Bridget Foy, Guled Badri, Madeline Jacobs, Natalie Amundson, Tony Farrar, Vaerna Mayer) created this play using music written by Julie Penshorn. It was performed uniquely by each “animal” actor. Julia did a wonderful job of gathering free music to augment certain singers and the “Sleepy dog” poem. Thanks all for your hard and timely work, all while being Covid-19-safe!
“I swore never to be silent whenever and wherever human beings endure suffering and humiliation. We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.”
Seeing, being, and waging peace. Children’s mental health predicts the future of a society, of planetary conflict, and ultimately of life on the planet, so these are important!
The first ingredient for us all is seeing peace. We need to be able to imagine a better tomorrow and find peace in our daily lives through gratitude and a connection with nature and others.
Then, we need to demonstrate care for ourselves and others, and in so doing, we are being peace. Working out our problems peacefully and respectfully with each other demonstrates being peace and provides a lifelong tradition for our children who will ultimately be our world leaders.
Finally, waging peace helps us all to surmount difficult times, including those that tend to force us to focus inward, on our own misery. By finding something to be “FOR,” someone to help, some cause to support, something to create a better home, community, neighborhood, and/or world, we are waging peace.
Seeing Peace — Activities for Teaching the Concept
Seeing peace begins with simple observations of the world around us and enjoying time together creates a tradition of joy, respect for nature, and appreciation. For example, in one square foot of grass, a child can find at least ten magic, wonderful, creepy, crawling, manifestations of the earth’s remarkable creations!
Covid-19 isolation, a time to see peace in nature. This picture is from “I Can See Peace,” a children’s book guiding children in this skill and lifestyle. Find it here: http://bit.ly/smile4PEACE
Some simple ideas to get started.
Lie on the ground with your kids and study what’s in front of you! How many things can you find in one square foot?
Watch a sunset or sunrise together. Breathe deeply. See peace.
Check the new growth on the trees and bushes around your house or in the park. Watch the magic of spring birth and growth in the garden and on the trees. Marvel together. See peace.
Watch the raindrops on the window, or on a warm day with soft gentle rain, go out and feel it on your skin. Get drenched. See peace!
Sing together as you take a walk. How about, “You Are My Sunshine”? Music brings so much joy. It’s a wonderful way to see peace.
After Stopping to See Peace, and Breathing to Be Peace, It’s Time to Wage it!
Jack Doepke and Julie Penshorn sing “I Can See I Can Be I Can Wage Peace” by Julie Penshorn
Much of success in business depends on our ability to get along with others.
Social and emotional skills (SEL) are learned when kids do their own conflict resolution, perhaps better termed “conflict transformation”. Conflict transformation includes the reality that often conflict resolution is imposed from a more powerful country or individual (such as a teacher or parent) and in being top-down it misses something important and results in imperfect resolutions. Conflict transformation implies that people work to a solution that can actually help them move beyond the current anger and hostility to a much greater relationship as they have come to a deeper understanding and are ready and able to move beyond where they started.
Waging peace goes beyond typical mental health approaches for children.
It gives children something to be “for” rather than spending all their energies focusing on all the challenges they face. It fits under the umbrella of SEL (social and emotional learning) beautifully but goes beyond. Instead of just seeking skills for getting along, it positions kids to build a purposeful future, as they seek peace, through generosity, positive action, and mindfulness as a way of life.
This is a time to take stock of practices and policies, habits, and attitudes and really ask: who and what am I supporting by my actions? How can I be a role model for a child and wage peace today?
Track from “I STOP for Peace”. Music and short children’s dialogues make learning fun and easy.
Conflict transformation in our families can be life-changing.
What do you do when you have a problem with a spouse or child? Most of us can’t claim great skills for working it out. Most of us never learned how. Kids are learning, however. Often it’s not until fourth grade, but most children get some education in conflict resolution at school. In this article, I’ll catch you up to what they are learning and give you four simple steps to use that will transform the conflicts in your home. These steps are appropriate for you, and even for your three-year-old.
In this ever-more complicated world, inter-personal conflicts and inter-familial conflicts may be what causes us the most anguish. Transforming our conflicts is a key to our happiness and is critical for our children’s futures.
What’s the difference between conflict resolution and conflict transformation?
Conflict transformation benefits from sharing deeply. For partners, it is important to talk about the underlying feelings of fear, hurt, sadness, loneliness, worry, or frustration, rather than trying to be right. It’s far more beneficial to demonstrate to spouse and onlooking kids that you care about each other than it is to show them you can win an argument.
The transformation of children’s conflicts requires the same things, with one more important component. A valid solution is not a top-down solution. Often conflict resolution is. For example, a resolution imposed by a more powerful country or individual (such as a teacher or parent) is now “resolved” but it’s not “transformed”. That may be why it usually reappears! Top-down solutions lack buy-in and often result in imperfect resolutions. Conflict transformation implies that people work to a solution that can actually help them move beyond the current anger and hostility to a much greater relationship having come to a deeper understanding. They are ready and able to move beyond where they started.
Tough times can be opportunities to partner with family.
Using our tough times as opportunities, we can find partners in family members. Of course, you don’t want to share every problem with young children. It may cause anxiety. However, they appreciate knowing, as an example, that you are sad or angry because you can’t go to work, and you love your job. They like to understand that whatever you are bothered by is not their fault. That is reassuring. So, some sharing invites more collaboration from members of your family. Even three-year-olds often have wonderful help to offer! “Dad, don’t worry! I can keep you company if you’re lonesome for your work friends.” Or, “Mom, I want to be your work partner today. Let’s plant the garden.”
Missing interaction with peers can cause slower social skill development
Since kids who have missed interacting with their peers lately are missing valuable social and emotional learning, you get to home-school it. To build better relationships and skills for dealing with others in school, home, or the workplace, you can help them learn the valuable skills to transform conflicts from sentences of isolation to opportunities for connection. It takes practice. And, like baseball or tennis, the more kids practice, the better they will be as adults, and the more likely they will be to have work and social success. The skills they learn help prepare them for more happiness and deeper relationships.
As children are isolated from others, including their grandparents, social skills can suffer.
You can reduce the impact of Covid-19 isolation on your kids.
To ward off the impact of Covid-19 on our kids, we need to innoculate them against the PTSD and trauma experts expect them to suffer. (This article by Sonali Kohli offers a comprehensive look at the mental health consequences of Covid-19 for California’s children–a microcosm of those in the entire country.) You have the best medicine! Guide them with conflict transformation skills, skills for seeing peace, and help them find purpose in serving others. For this blog, the focus is on skills for conflict transformation. It is a key ingredient in social skill education. According to Nadine Burke Harris, who cites a longitudinal study in her TED talk, health, happiness, and even ability to earn a living are at stake.
Learning versus teaching. . .
Kids are not interested in being “taught”, but they are fully ready to “learn.” What hampers buy-in for kids is being told to do something. They want to discover it! They want to know, “What’s in it for me?” It’s definitely helpful if they see the benefit of learning to work out problems. Thus, experiencing you and your spouse or friend working out problems and celebrating your success is a great way for kids to learn. However, when they are working it out with someone, not you, and you interfere too much it will be YOUR solution and they won’t learn nearly as well.
The capable parent sometimes helps too much.
Well-meaning, capable parents (who remind me of me, so this hits me first-hand), sometimes don’t let kids do the struggling, the seeking, the challenging work of finding peace themselves. Instead, they are coaching and solving all the time. It’s hard! Try to see not helping as part of the educational journey for all. As your child develops independence with the skills, you will be impressed!
Use a story to do the teaching.
The Barnyard Buddies STOP for Peace children’s book illustrates and inspires conflict transformation as it teaches through story.
There is research about the benefits of storytelling as a tool for teaching. Do a Google search and you’ll see more than enough to convince you! Here is a lovely article on the topic. Using stories, parents don’t even have to “teach.” by taking yourself out of the equation, you reduce the likelihood of a power struggle preventing learning (“Mom wants me to do this, so I will say ‘No.'”).
Start with a good story about stopping!
Because I felt so strongly about the need for a story to empower young children to solve their problems, I wrote the children’s book, “The Barnyard Buddies STOP for Peace.”If you like, read the reviews to see how other parents and teachers have been using this book, and why. Since I am a singer and songwriter, I added a musical component. The “I STOP for Peace” CD or electronic music offers a real-life story with young kids singing and telling it.
The “STOP for Peace” process offers conflict transformation for all ages.
Conflicts over scarce resources can be transformed at the peace table.
Establish your own special place for working out problems–maybe a peace table!
“Since children are concrete learners, they appreciate having a specific place designated for problem-solving or conflict resolution. The peace table is in that space, which becomes a respected and appreciated area representing empowerment, not punishment.” (Janke, Penshorn, 1995, page 40. From our 1995 book, “Peacemaker’s A, B, Cs for Young Children: A Guide for Teaching Conflict Resolution With a Peace Table” by Rebecca Janke, M.Ed. and Julie Penshorn which is out-of-print, but a few copies are available by emailing julie@smarttoolsforlife.com.).
After we stop and breathe we can sit at a peace table and work it out.
Decorate your peace table
It’s helpful to place the peace table in a space where the steps for conflict resolution can also be posted. You can use the coloring page on the home page of this site or order a full-color version in our store. Children often enjoy decorating their peace table. There are more ideas on Pinterest. Of course, if you’re not at home you can just use whatever is handy (such as a rock, a talking piece, an upturned bucket) as a peace table. You are just looking for an energetic focal point.
A peace table in your home reduces whining, tattling, and bullying, and increases kids’ power to succeed in life. It gives them the confidence to try even more peacemaking, and wage peace in more ways.
Parents and teachers can dampen children’s enthusiasm.
Compare these requests: 1). “Sam, you and Jamal go to the peace table and work this out.” or 2). “Sam, you and Jamal will have time to go to the peace table after lunch. Do you think you will be cooled off by then?” The second feels quite different but uses almost the same words. Teaching is a bit like filling a helium balloon. You fill it with love, fill it with stories, fill it with role modeling, and then, ultimately, you can just let it go and it will fly!
Adults and children can both use the peace table but don’t interfere with the children unless the conflict involves you.
Steps for the STOP for Peace process
Step 1: Stop and breathe.
Start by stopping to breathe and calm down. Here’s a song to help guide young children. The CD or E-music is available here.
It may take some time to cool off. It’s going to take a least 20 minutes for the chemicals in the brain to settle down, so don’t rush the process. Tell your conflict partner you need time to cool off and then demonstrate deep breathing for him or her. Especially if it’s a child. Your demonstration does a great deal to aid the learning process.
Conflict transformation can begin by getting back to personal peace with breathing.
Step 2: Tell how you feel.
Use an I-message when you are ready to work it out. See this blog for an extensive look at this step and how it relates to developing empathy in kids. This step is the essence of the work. Once you care enough to learn how each other feels your compassion is inspired and you have done most of the hard work.
Guard against making the other person responsible for your feelings. You have your feelings. They are yours. no one “made” you have that feeling. That’s why the format of the I-message tries to avoid using the word “you”. It’s not, “You make me sad because you are ignoring me.” It works much better to use something like, “I feel sad when I am left alone to work on my schoolwork alone for too long.” Active listening includes repeating what your conflict partner has said, so you are sure you fully understand and they are honored by your deep listening and respect of their feelings.
Step 3: Open your mind.
This is the brainstorming phase. If your children don’t write yet, they can still be independent at the peace table process. They can draw a picture of their ideas or ask you for help writing down their ideas. When brainstorming, don’t evaluate. Don’t censor. Just write down every idea, even if it seems to be a crazy thing. Then, in the next step, you will edit, combine, or eliminate ideas that don’t fit the criteria.
Step 4: Plan a deal.
Any good solution has to be good for me, good for you, and good for the community (from “Peacemaker’s A, B, Cs for Young Children: A Guide for Teaching Conflict Resolution with a Peace Table”). Applying this standard helps make sure the solution is workable and sustainable. Be sure to celebrate your success in making a plan! After reaching a resolution, it’s great to celebrate overtly, like by having a “problem-solving-pizza-party,” or a “solution-special-snowshoe-trip,” or a “transformation-time-TV-show”. If your solution doesn’t work out, go back to step O, Open your mind. Brainstorm some more ideas, choose one, and try again!
Peace education is a comprehensive approach to children’s mental health.
It gives children something to be “for” rather than spending all their energies focusing on all the challenges they face. It fits under the umbrella of SEL (social and emotional learning) beautifully but goes beyond. Instead of just seeking skills for getting along, it positions kids to build a purposeful future. Seeking personal and interpersonal peace, doing kind and compassionate acts, being generous, and taking creative, positive actions all contribute to this way of life. Show your enthusiasm for children’s efforts to be peacemakers!
Kate Towle shares this guest blog which appeared first in Community Voices commentary titled “All Americans need to listen and talk constructively — about race.” (For more information about Community Voices, email Susan Albright at salbright@minnpost.com.) Community Voices features opinion pieces from a wide variety of authors and perspectives. (Submission Guidelines)
Learning the truth about race
Learning the truth about race within the U.S. is like piecing together a quilt as a collective narrative. Each of us holds a square as part of the full design, or truth.
Kate Towle offers this blog, talking about race
Kate Towle
Kate Towle is a community educator whose model for students to develop themselves as civic and intercultural leaders won the 2011 Facing Race Idea Challenge and a 2014 PeaceMaker Award.
Background on Kate Towle and Her Thoughts About Race
Though my white father died when I was 10, I imprinted his passion for civil rights as he worked alongside an African-American friend to sustain a community center. He also had Social Security documents translated into Spanish and visited young men in prison. When I had children of my own, I learned how intricately their educational experience was tied to that of their peers of color. We became the rare white family that talks about race. We’re long overdue for the conversation; only then will we understand events like #Ferguson and #Charleston.
We Are Creatures of Patterns
As humans, we are creatures of patterns. Views or situations to which we are exposed cause neurons in our brains to “ping” the call centers of our brain cells and forge connections to a targeted network of neuronal “neighbors.” The connections create neural pathways, or ways of thinking and acting that become stronger the more they are reinforced. So, depending on the social ideas, patterns and stories to which you are exposed, you may have a very different view of the United States.
If, for instance, you are a descendant of slaves, the stories that passed on to you are less likely to be about the independence gained through the Revolutionary War and more about the dignities stripped from you and your children, or your ancestors’ lives in slavery. Not only would your family be denied opportunities to reach prosperity, your cultural legacy would boast less to pass on, including books and photographs. Though now granted civil rights in 1964 (only 51 years ago) you are expected to make do with inferior housing, schools, and even health care.
The Counter-narrative to ‘Shining city …’
I have learned a counter-narrative to that of the U.S. as a “shining city on the hill” by staying present to the pain of my friends of color. In fact, our country was founded by white colonists who funded the war for independence with wealth created by slave labor. The surplus wealth of our country for half of its lifetime (from the first Jamestown settlement) was generated by a massive slave trade that sanctioned violently seizing land and people. Our society has had legalized slavery far longer than it has been free. A worldview of white dominance taints everything from our cultural reaction to drugs (crack vs. anti-depressants) to the correlation of education and your ZIP code. Our societal practices still bow to the wealth that white people have been able to invest, save and generate over time.
Holding the perspective of our friends of color requires that we intentionally increase our exposure to the reality and obstacles they experience. Learning the truth about race within the U.S. is a process of learning and exposure, akin to learning about another country. Each of us brings our square of exposure to the quilt.
Embrace one key practice
If we hope to increase prosperity and maximize the quality of life for all, we must encourage each U.S. citizen to embrace one key practice: talking constructively — and with an open mind — about race.
The stakes have never been higher. Our divisions as a nation are making us increasingly vulnerable to terrorism and the demands of regimes that oppose our best interests. The world itself is experiencing the strain of overpopulation and climate change, and will require the intelligence of every young mind.
Laying the groundwork in early childhood
The following thoughts were added to Kate’s blog by Julie Penshorn
I wanted to make sure all were aware that Teaching Tolerance has many valuable tools for your classroom community as well as your faculty.
Here is a suggestions from a recent article from The Greater Good Magazine. Discuss with staff at a staff meeting, “The hard part of talking a bout race/racism is …” and “The beneficial part of talking about race/racism is…”
A valuable resource geared for slightly older children than our target group at Smart Tools for Life is available here: “Teaching Tolerance Guide: Let’s Talk.” However, many of these ideas can be adapted. You’ll also see how valuable our children’s book The Barnyard Buddies STOP for Peace is when you look at the Teaching Tolerance group activities. Young children learn the basic tools in our work. Then, those skills can be expanded upon in older classrooms and children will have the preparedness to move forward easily. We will follow up with more ideas for young children.
Please Add Your Voice! Share Your Ideas!
If you’re interested in joining the discussion, add your voice to the Comment section below. Have you instituted a practice in your classroom that would be of benefit to others? Do you have a favorite book you’d like to tell us about? How about a teacher training circle exercise you use in your setting? We welcome your insights and encourage a dialogue.
“He will take something from me that I want/need.”
“There’s already not enough.”
“I don’t trust her…” and so on. The readers of this new children’s book get to grapple with this type of issues. When fear-mongering is rampant, and hatred of “the other” is being modeled from the highest levels of government, what are we teaching our kids?
“This new children’s book addresses the challenges that newcomers have when entering communities and classrooms. Readers are moved toward thoughtful and compassionate action,” said Penshorn. “We realize embracing and accepting new people has complications. This story guides children to explore the questions around this topic. There are many opportunities for deep thinking and finding ‘compassion-smart’ solutions. We invite your participation! Our GoFund Me page will tell you all about the campaign.
What else could they do?
This, along with other thought-provoking questions is asked in the Parent and Educator Guide at the end of the book. The “Conversation Starters” and “Activities” provide several lesson-plans based on the conundrums provided by the story.
The Story
The lonely and cold dog finds himself abandoned by a family that could no longer afford to keep him. They live in a town that’s one of the recent ones suffering with the lead-in-our-pipes problem. Bottled water (that comes with its own, less immediate health risks) puts this poor old dog’s family in a financial crisis. They turn to the animal shelter for help, but the shelter is full. Many people looked for the same solution. Unable to think of a better solution, they decide to drive the dog out of town and drop him off. A heartbreaking first page, mostly told in the art.
The dog wanders into the Barnyard Buddies’ farm, and is immediately informed he has to leave because Farmer Jim doesn’t like strangers. However, the poor old guy is too tired and hungry to continue walking. He is ready to give up.
A Happy Ending?
The story evolves…While it does have a happy ending, many of the children coming to our country or our communities as immigrants, refugees, and newcomers, don’t have that experience.
Children in every school, home, day care, church, synagogue, or mosque need opportunities to think about these difficult conundrums. They need time to think and to practice their decision-making skills before they become adults. It’s very valuable if they can learn to hold compassion in their hearts while they consider practical implications. This skill comes quite naturally to most children, but reinforcing it and putting it in a memorable story helps them recognize the value of that way of thinking. Further, it helps them believe in themselves, even if adults around them are not always good role models.
Well-developed characters, expressively drawn by Jeanine-Jonee Keith, reveal the complexity of the animals’ emotions. The owl, who steadfastly welcomes the lonely dog, points out, “Often kindness brings more kindness.” The need for children to be included and feel a sense of belonging for maximum mental and physical wellness, is demonstrated by the dog, who recovers quickly when he receives care.
Parent and Educator Guide
Following the touching story, a Parent and Educator Guide provides questions that encourage children to think deeply, creatively, and critically, as they consider ways they might respond to similar situation.
“This book is a great resource for families and teachers looking for materials that enhance decision-making. It supports teachers dealing with a new child in class, or perhaps immigrants, or refugees. We think these are critical discussions to have in today’s world,” said Rebecca Janke, M.Ed., the book’s content editor.
Whether it’s at the border or in our classrooms, “What are we teaching our children?”
This children’s book has multiple benefits for the teacher and parent reading to children ranging from simple counting opportunities to the introduction of civic language. The Barnyard Buddies illustrate and talk about both majority rule and consensus-building. The book fills a current, intense need for children to delve more deeply as they begin to grapple with complex problems. Today’s kids will need to solve many issues around increased displacement as we face disruptions due to climate change, war, famine, political unrest, and so on.
The Book Needs You!
Please participate with the production and marketing of this book. Visit our GoFundMe page.Your share is critical! We also invite you to become a fundraising team member and help raise money to promote this book. Please email julie@smarttoolsforlife.com for a team invitation.
Wouldn’t it be sad if parents, librarians, and educators didn’t know about this book? Follow us on Twitter and Facebook so you’ll know when this lovely book is available for you to cry over and talk over with the kids in your life. Because, at the end of the day, “What are we teaching our children?”
Effective negotiating often isn’t modeled by government
Effective negotiating. I remember my teachers using our U.S. Congress to show me how it was done. However, right now effective negotiating and dialogue seem to be a thing of the past, and many wonder, “What happened to civility? What happened to basic decency and social skills? How we are ever going to get back to bipartisan debate? Or intelligent and truthful conversations in our lawmaking bodies?”
Teens model effective negotiating and learning to be civil
While we are hoping that our “leaders” can take steps toward higher ground, we can be hopeful. People like Brooke Deterline—a cofounder of the Courageous Leadership consulting firm, are working to guide kids to find the skills for civility in conversations, particularly with those who don’t share their point-of-view. These kids are likely to grow up having the skills to move beyond partisan bickering and toward problem-solving.
An inspirational article about work with kids
You’ll find an inspirational article from The Greater Good Magazine: Here’s the link directly to the article: https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/these_kids_are_learning_how_to_have_bipartisan_conversations. To summarize: Deterline gets a group of teenagers together and educates them in courageous leadership! She says, “What often shuts down conversations across the political aisle, . . . is when our brains go into what she calls ‘the red zone.’ . . .When we’re stressed, our natural compassion is cut off. . . .We don’t want to have compassion for the lion if we’re actually in a life-or-death situation. Our bodies are getting ready to fight or flee, sometimes freeze. It happens in less than a second.”
Working with Teens is Great
I have often marvelled at the wonderful work being done by people working with teens. And, yet, even with teens, we are doing remediation. We are fixing an already existing challenge. We need to start in the womb and continue with every day of a child’s life to provide a safe and welcoming environment for kids that allows them to think clearly and without fear clouding their responses.
Every day of a child’s life has a lasting impact
The incredible impact of early experiences on young children is why we are so concerned about US policies on the US/Mexico border. Whether it’s separation of families or just extensive stays for youngsters, none of it is okay for their development!
Children from birth to age 9 are sponges. When we provide a fear-filled environment, we create trauma that often causes lifelong consequences. When we provide safety, security, love, and decency, we provide tools for them to learn the very skills that these teens are learning — at an early enough age that these skills become their new normal. If we can also offer cultural tools like books and music to support their negotiating skills we are smart! Then we are enhancing their Smart Tools for Life.
The Barnyard Buddies STOP for Peace has a teen mentor component to it, so teens can bring the younger kid these skills.
Our Payhip store can be posted on your website. Your friends, co-workers, business associates, and family can find these materials and you can even make 40% of their purchase price. Do good while making money. Gotta like that!
About how to solve problems, be kind, and be fair,
About how to take turns, compromise, and share.
If you ask Santa, he’ll drop off at your door
All these smart tools. That’s what they’re for!
This poem is a story about how “The Barnyard Buddies STOP for Peace” book may have come to be! I hope you enjoy and share.
Two children who love The Barnyard Buddies STOP for Peace
This blog is definitely a bit big on the marketing and promoting (at the end). If you read the reviews that are on Amazon associated with any of the materials, but particularly the music, I think you will see why I feel the need to share and promote. These materials are really important and valuable to kids — according to others. I think as the writer, it’s my responsibility to do my share to let others know about them. Please share in any way you can. Twitter, Facebook, and so on.
As you see, The Barnyard Buddies also mentioned the other award-winning book, “I Can See Peace.” The two books and two cds of music provide a lovely, simple way to bring a comprehensive peacemaking education to very young children. All the materials are targeted for ages 3 to 8 or 9.
The young ages are when we cement our conflict resolution styles. We also learn that our families value our caring and sharing behaviors. We learn about focusing on kindness and compassion, recycling, and caring for the earth, what it means to be a peacemaker and so much more. All these are addressed in the music that goes with these books.
As a person living on this heating planet, I can only hope our children grow up thoughtful, compassionate, and smart about caring for others and issues of climate change, and are willing to get to the deeper issues around population, scarcity of resources, and more that prevent our success on these issues.
Apologies for lack of diversity! This poem is not meant to leave out others, but I have only come up with this Santa story to tell the tale of how The Barnyard Buddies (with a little help from me) created “The Barnyard Buddies STOP for Peace” children’s book. Maybe next year I’ll figure out a story that works better for children with a background in other traditions!
The story of Santa doesn’t indicate any religious preference or bias by me, the staff or the organization.
“The Barnyard Buddies STOP for Peace” has music that partners with it!
children’s book award winner has companion music: I STOP for Peace
Peaceful conflict resolution is a critical skill in this world. This particular book is well loved by the children who have it and has excellent Amazon reviews. The music helps children internalize the skills and they get to hear other children doing the steps for conflict resolution so their own work becomes more important. Check it out here. (The music is below the books on that Amazon link.)
Children’s book awards for “I Can See Peace” include Peace Book of the Year.
The Big Award was for the Peace Book of the Year!
“I Can See Peace” released on September 21, International Day of Peace, in St. Paul, MN (video shows excerpts from that event), was awarded the Indie Human Relations Peace Book of the Year Director’s Choice Award. This award was not just a children’s book award. It was awarded over all submitted books!
“The outstanding children’s book, ‘I Can See Peace’, published by Growing Communities for Peace: Smart Tools for Life was recently selected as the 2018 Human Relations Peace Book of the Year by the Human Relations Indie Book Awards. It was judged against the entries in all categories, not just children’s books. The focus of the Human Relations Indie Book Awards is to recognize outstanding indie authors who write on human relations topics,” stated Susan Peterson, the organization’s representative.
The illustrations, by California illustrator, Jeanine-Jonee Keith, depict multicultural children seeking peace, even when they are struggling with conflict, illness, family arguments, and disability.
Why these books matter
“Peace is always around us,” said Penshorn. “The challenge is that peace is not the only thing that’s around us. In this book, children and families discover that by focusing attention on nature, and the wonderful and peaceful things in their lives, they are building the muscles to see and experience more peace. This is helpful for the mental health of anyone. By starting with young children this approach to life becomes a habit. Today our world provides substantial stress for children and families. These books give families the tools to communicate about important topics supporting mental health and conflict resolution so the entire family can improve its skills.
Childhood trauma affects all children
“Childhood trauma can have lifelong negative impacts, and all children suffer at some point in their lives from a trauma, no matter how much we try to protect them. Some suffer greatly. Our nonprofit, Growing Communities for Peace, created the Smart Tools for Life project to provide memorable and engaging children’s stories. Learning about peace and nonviolence can be a normal activity for families and schools and can be fun and impactful. Since whoever tells the stories creates the culture, our organization seeks to build a culture of peace beginning with children’s stories. We include music because it helps the skills sink into the hearts and minds of children for life,” commented Rebecca Janke, M.Ed., Montessori teacher trainer, and GCFP board member.
Penshorn added, “We spend a lot of time discussing the best ways to protect our children from gun violence in their schools, or strangers on our streets. As important as these discussions are, raising peaceful, compassionate kids is the best way to protect future generations!”
Share information with your friends about these children’s book awards
You can bring these books to more people! Write a review, tell us how your kids, grandkids and students like these books, and share links to this blog and our facebook page. Be sure to “like”the Facebook page.
The book release event was in conjunction with Twin Cities Nonviolent and its Ten Days Free From Violence Campaign. Find out more at www.twincitiesnonviolent.org. #ICanWagePeace.
For information about these events, author visits to your classroom, or accessing these books for your classroom or home contact Julie@smarttoolsforlife.com. The books and music are available on Amazon.
Some New Reviews from Online Book Club for “I Can See Peace”
“What an amazing book geared for children to learn how to calm situations and tells them they have the power to create peace. I liked the drawings and the multicultural aspect of this book.” Online Book reviewer
“Children are the future, and the only way to insure lasting peace is for the children to see it as the only option that makes sense. The cover and title are bright and would appeal to children of all ages. I liked that the synopsis showed that the readers are taught ‘mindful breathing and intentional seeking to learn to deal with their strong emotions and find their way back to peace.’ Peace in the world begins with peace within.” Tiny Turtle
“The pictures are calming e.g. the horses at rest. I like that the pictures show diversity of race. The questions at the end are useful for teachers or parents. I like, in particular, how the book covers peace in all its forms e.g. being sick in hospital. I also like the inclusion of a song at the end.” Laura Bach
Reviews for The Barnyard Buddies STOP for Peace from Online Book Club
I Can See Peace new children’s book available on Kindle now.
Children’s book release scheduled
Children’s book release scheduled for International Day of Peace, September 21, 2018, features the new children’s book, I Can See Peace, by Julie Penshorn.
Sensitive and Multicultural
In this sensitive, multicultural book, the ability to see peace even when it’s hard is a key emphasis. When the resilience of children is being sorely tested, this book provides a particle of light, hope, and some guidance through the dark places.
Official reviewer at Online Book Club:
“I Can See Peace was a surprise hit. I loved the writing, the activities at the back and the artwork. . . can easily see parents wanting to re-read this to their children, or children looking back at it when they’re in need of calming down. My rating of I Can See Peace is 4 out of 4 stars.”
Review by Biana Walter, volunteer at Online Book Club:
“I rate this book 4 out of 4 stars. . . couldn’t find anything about this book that I didn’t like. . . would recommend it to teachers who will gain valuable ways to teach children the subtle beauties of the world. I would also recommend it to parents. There are some great exercises that can be done with your own child to ensure that they can find peace – they just need to know where to look.”
Seeing Peace Takes Muscles!
The ability to imagine and see peace takes practice. Essentially, one must build the muscles to do it. By starting young and practicing on a regular basis, children can make the world a more peaceful place. Importantly, this book shows children struggling with strong emotion, their health, interpersonal conflicts, and working through their struggles to find peace. The music notation for the song, “I Smile at Myself” is also included, and music is available at Amazon and others online and from the author to help the concepts sink deeply into the hearts and minds of children.
Share social and other peacemaking skills with children and build a culture of peace!
Save the Date, September 21, 2018, for the children’s book release
On September 21st, the International Day of Peace, spend some time with other peacemakers, celebrating the children’s book release event in St. Paul with the author, and Director of Smart Tools for Life, Julie Penshorn.
The Barnyard Buddies STOP for Peace conflict resolution and anger management for kids
Books and music will be available at the event. If you can’t attend, you can purchase on Amazon.
The afternoon event is at the Carondelet Village at 525 Fairview Ave (at Randolf), in St. Paul from 3:00 to 4:30 p.m. The program will include book reading, interactive dialogues, singalong and original songs of peace and justice. Attendees will have an opportunity to get to know the author and purchase the new books. A special musical guest, Ben Grosscup will join in as well.
Refugee children are now at the forefront of our reality. Every country struggles with what to do with the burgeoning numbers of people crossing borders to flee some sort of misery. Fundamental problems of governance and resource distribution create challenges far beyond the attention spans of most of us, as we navigate our busy lives.
So why should you care about these immigrants and/or refugee children? Even if a moral argument doesn’t sway you, it’s in your own self-interest to care. Just pure logic leads to the simple conclusion that it’s much more expensive to treat illnesses than to prevent them.
Beyond the expenses of health care, today’s children are tomorrow’s teens and adults
Who will our children become? Even with a caring, loving family and few traumatic incidents, children can grow up with emotional issues that make them dangerous to themselves and others. But the outcomes in terms of their health, happiness, and even their ability to earn a living, says Nadine Burke Harris, are clearly impacted by their early life experiences. We are only recently beginning to recognize the full impact of trauma on children’s developing lives.
While acknowledging that we have only a small perspective, Growing Communities for Peace, through its project Smart Tools for Life, seeks to create a more peaceful world for all children with our books and music. Some of us, like Director, Julie Penshorn (right in the video above) even make impromptu videos such as this, because we do feel morally compelled to speak out about the refugee children and their situation right now!
The best defense against violence starts with young children
Whether you are talking about preventing destructive gangs, drug addiction, or school shootings, raising healthy babies, toddlers, and elementary-age children is a crucial beginning. Developing literacy, including peace literacy*, is also empowering. Our new book, I Can See Peace is a vehicle for young children to begin developing their emotional “smarts,” and gain some of the tools they need for their entire lives.
I Can See Peace new children’s book available on Kindle now.
We recognize that creating a more peaceful world is a long process
Many of us feel overwhelmed since keeping up with the complicated miseries all over the world is daunting. Some are exhausted already and say, “It’s too much, we are too late. What can one person do?” One person can do a lot.
Six simple suggestions for growing healthy communities
Demonstrate compassion as your child learns. Listen to them! Create realistic boundaries for behavior, and correct children in respectful ways when they make mistakes.
Listen when people that have different points-of-view try to convince you they are right and you are wrong. Don’t automatically shut them down. Listen with real open ears. Say, “I’ll have to think about that.” It’s very honoring to the other person to know they encouraged you to think. Don’t dismiss people out-of-hand because their opinions are different. Try to avoid unfriending them!
Watch and read diverse media. A singular media diet can become addictive and unhealthy, just like only eating one food!
Read to yourself and with your children. Choose books that include multicultural and diverse individuals. That way the foreign becomes the familiar.
Learn about Adverse Childhood Experiences and their comprehensive consequences. Recent research shows how critically children are suffering in this country from the consequences of Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs). ACEs contribute to tremendous long-term suffering and health issues for both immigrants and our own population. Click this link to an excellent TED talk that goes into some detail without being overly complex.
The Compassionate Rebel is a formula for transformation
The Compassionate Rebel: Energized by Anger, Motived by Love
in 2002, and wrote the words of Tom La Blanc (who is pictured here on the cover with his granddaughter), little did we know we could see such suffering and trauma inflicted on young refugee children on our southern border.
“Oh, Grandfather God! Pity us, for we are a weak and a lost people! We ask only that our little ones and unborn be allowed to grow strong within the winds of their own directions. For we look about us in these times and see children of all colors being abused, neglected, exploited, and denied. This we do not want amongst our circle, so this is our prayer, this is our mind, this is our law.” Tom La Blanc from The Compassionate Rebel: Energized by Anger, Motivated by Love, 2002, stories collected and written by Burt Berlowe, Rebecca Janke, and Julie Penshorn.
The compassionate person may have great anger right now, but self-interest says “cool it”
We have seen tremendous divisiveness in our country over the past couple of years. It has prompted some to bash the other political side when their anger swells up. Instead, the Compassionate Rebel says, “I am angry and I have compassion for all sides. I will find a peaceful way. Perhaps I will find a wonderfully creative or unusual way.”
With win-lose thinking, everyone loses
Perpetuating the politics of win-lose, good-bad, right-wrong is a dead end. It can only lead to more division. That’s why the video above starts with, “Nobody listened when I told my deep thoughts. They shut their ears up like they were robots.” Because in my own self-interest, I want dialogues with people of diverse opinions and backgrounds, where each listens to the other’s points-of-view. I want to be challenged to assess my “facts” and the other person can be challenged on theirs as well. Together, often we can seek a peaceful way forward.
What if we talked?
Often our politicians hope we are divisive. Polarization builds motivation to vote. If our politicians could work across the aisle, they probably wouldn’t get reelected since their base would turn against them. What if we elected Compassionate Rebels who could think long-term about the health of the relationship, the planet, and the country when they voted? What if they talked, collaborated, and worked on problems like functioning businesses, boardrooms, and neighborhoods? How do we build a culture where people can talk to each other with respect? We have to start young.
Our new children’s book is just out in Kindle
I Can See Peace is a profound, inspirational journey told with multicultural art and simple rhyming phrases that can help children in many different types of situations imagine beauty and peace back into their lives.
I Can See Peace new children’s book available on Kindle now.
It depicts children with challenges around family conflict, bullying, and health issues seeking something more, and finding it! If you get it on Kindle (Free right now or $1.99) and review it kindly, then, when it is released on International Day of Peace, September 21, 2018, it will have much more success getting to the hands of other Amazon shoppers. So, a purchase and a review are votes for peace! They are votes in your own self-interest, for your future conversations, your future health care costs, and your future politicians.
Who cares about making a statement or a “vote” for peace?
Every person who has someone they care about and love has an obligation to think. To think long-term, deeply, and carefully, about who our children will grow up to be, with whom they will interact, and where the dangers for them will originate. Without critical thinking, we become easily manipulated by ruthless and unethical people.
Let’s find a Compassionate Rebel solution for another really polarizing issue
When we consider the issue of gun control, we frequently polarize ourselves into immobility. We take no action because we are confused about the best one. Or, we are so stubborn in our views we don’t even want to hear another point-of-view. But we don’t need to be in that situation! Most people on the right or the left agree that young children need to be raised in a healthy, safe environment for positive mental health. So we can quite easily focus on something we agree on and move forward on that! How can we support children’s healthy development?
Who are we as Americans? Is this how America should be?
Eudaimonia has a scathing and frightening assessment of our current actions on the southern border. They say what we are doing to these young refugees and other immigrant children is genocide. If you want to read more, check out their rationale for that opinion here. I don’t disagree, but I am concerned that such labels are going to make solving things harder since no one likes to view themselves in that light.
We are a country founded with the idea that “Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness,” are “inalienable rights.” When those words were written, the world was much more fragmented, since it took many days to travel to other countries. Now, we are less than a days plane ride from anywhere. Can we afford to believe that these are only rights for those in the United States?
My selfish hope is that other countries thrive
Selfishly, I hope others have similar rights since we live in a global community. That said, current situations in El Salvador, Guatemala, Honduras and other countries around the world are daunting. To avoid having their children sold as sex slaves, conscripted into a gang, or disappeared, people make the arduous journey to the land of the free and home of the brave. Some just send their refugee children. They dream. That’s how they survive the journey. “It will be better in the United States.” They expect to have basic human rights when they arrive at the border of a great democracy. And, they are entitled to due process and to have their case heard.
All children benefit from our love and care
All of our children benefit from our guidance to stimulate their good memories, focus on the positive things in their lives, and help them find light in the darkness. It is ultimately both smart and selfish to care for our children and those all over the world. They are easier and more pleasant to be around. They will determine our shared future. We can’t count on barriers such as oceans or languages to keep us separate. We all share a common humanity — like it or not.
Our Constitution is an inspiring document
It gives us a framework to be as great as we can be. It’s quite a credit to its writers that it is still relevant. In the spirit of those immigrants who shaped our founding documents, I hope we can continue to be inspired to care for new immigrants, and especially to care for all the children within our shared circle — namely, our planet Earth!
Further information:
A June 20th NPR program goes into some specifics about long-term health consequences of our actions on our border. And, here is the point-of-view of the president of the American College of Pediatrics, Dr. Colleen Kraft, from a June 18 NPR interview.
For more reading, here is a link to numerous TED talks on refugees.
Here is a link to some information on different approaches to racial integration.
In St. Paul and Minneapolis, Minnesota peace and nonviolence enthusiasts are working on event planning on and for 9 days after International Day of Peace on September 21. Ten Days Free from Violence is coordinated by this group: Twin Cities Nonviolent.
The Corrections Accountability Project is a great resource for information about who benefits financially from the incarceration of immigrants and refugee children on the border and elsewhere.
